Revelations

I thought I’ve had some big revelations in my life so far. However, nothing could have ever prepared me for what I was about to come face to face with on my twenty-fifth birthday. They say, “quarter-life crisis” exists – this was far past that, as it felt. I hit rock bottom hard. So deep, it took a round of girls and a few guys to literally pull me out of my hole. What was I thinking? My life was a mess. I was so deep into my problems while carrying everyone else’s, there was nothing left to do, nowhere left to turn but fall to ground, sink my head into a toilet and let it all out. My anger and upset, tears and pain, confusion, emotional and literal fatigue came rushing out from the place where I needed only oxygen at the moment. The place that’s supposed to give me relief when I feel suffocated. There was nothing left to do, but fight with it. So I did. It struggled to stay deep within me, but I fought and I let the demons that were holding me back come out. I fought until I could no longer hear or see. I opened my eyes – it was morning. What I thought would be all over, it was just the beginning and I was ready to face it head on.

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