Cycles

I told myself that I’d be okay, that I was okay. I was convincing everyone including myself. The denial became too great – I believed that God would pull me out of this ditch. Reveal His glory to me. I believed that He would show up in miraculous ways. Put a stop to the vicious cycle that became my life. Words and thoughts said otherwise. Threw my confidence and trust across the room. Hit the mirror and shattered me to pieces. With nothing left in the moment. Eyes depleted and dehydrated. My mind and fingers became a slave to the letters before me. Forming words they only knew how. Expose the lie I’d convinced myself of. Repeat the words on my lips. Studying a Foreign language. Unfamiliar, hard to grasp. I believed that God would pull me out of this ditch. Reveal His glory to me. Make me new, make me whole. Words and thoughts said so. My confidence staring right back at me. Words glaring. Telling me that I’d be okay, that I am okay.

– S

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